It's okay to not be fine. This has been my experience of life over the past two months. My family has sadly said good bye to two loved family members and it has rocked me to my core. I don't feel okay. I've shed more tears than I can count, I feel fragile and overwhelmed by circumstances where I'd usually feel comfortable and confident. Just being able to think straight has been a challenge.
The only thing that has brought comfort and peace in this time has been drawing near to God in prayer, in his word and listening to christian songs which point me to my rock and refuge. One song which has been on repeat for me is a song titled - Shepherd by City Alight. This song is written based on the words of Psalm 23. Here's the words of the first 2 verses and the chorus:
Though I walk through the valley
And I can't see the way
When the shadows surround me
I will not be afraid
For I know You are with me
You will always provide
Though the path may be lonely
You will stay by my side
I will rest my soul
I'll trust in You alone
For the Lord my Shepherd
Leads me, leads me
And He is all I need
In the darkest valley
I know, I know
My Shepherd is all I need
In the midst of our family's pain and grief running to God has been a spring of life and comfort. It hasn't meant the pain has been magically taken away but it has meant that we have someone who is with us in it and he is carrying us through it. Only through his strength have I been able to carry on over these past two months.
Psalm 23 ends with these words:
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
It's with God alone that amidst whatever pain and trials we face there is a glorious future hope. A hope beyond the brokenness of this world, a hope of dwelling with God forever. A hope worth fixing our eyes on and living in light of now.
It's okay to not be fine. But let me encourage you when you feel that way, to run to your Good Shepherd, the one who lovingly laid down his life for his sheep.
Grace and Peace
Paul
eNews - 11th October 2024