Stick and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me!'
It was a line that was often repeated across the playground at primary school. It was seen as the ultimate comeback to anyone who was saying nasty things about you.
As clever and comforting as we thought it might be in the school yard, it actually couldn't be further from the truth. Many of us still bear the significant and even debilitating scars of harsh and abusive words long after any physical trauma has healed.
There is a good reason why words cut deep. As the Bible tells us, our words come from the overflow of our heart. This means that words can be a window into the heart of the person who spoke them telling us what they really feel inside.
Multiple time Jesus points this out to those he is teaching. In Luke 6 he says that our words are the fruit born out of what's going on in our heart.
'A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.' (Luke 6:43-45)
Which means that when we unleash harsh and unkind words, the person on the receiving end hears them with the weight that this is coming up from our heart. Even if we might feel that there are mitigating circumstances (I was tired, it was urgent, I have already told you...) there is still something going on in our heart in that moment that is being communicated by our words.
This has caused me to think about the words that come out of my mouth and reflect on what they tell me about my own heart...
Am I quick to speak because I selfishly want my voice to be heard?
Am I defensive because I am proud and don't want to lose the argument?
Am I critical because I want to knock that person down a peg or two?
Am I harsh because I lack the self control to take a breath and cool things down?
Am I loud because I want to be noticed by others?
Am I crude because I want people to think that I am funny?
Am I gossiping because I am insecure in my relationships here?
Am I silent because I jealously don't want to give that person the encouragement they need?
James offers this wisdom for those who follow Jesus, 'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.' (James 1:19b-21)
Part of the solution will be to be more cautious and patient with our words. Catching them before they leave our mouth and reflecting on what they say about our heart.
But James also says that there is a better 'Word' that has the power to change our words.
'Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. [...] Whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.' (James 1:22, 25)
God's Word can change our words because it can change our heart.
So take some time to think about your words but don't neglect taking God's word to heart for that is where real change takes place.
Grace & peace,
Andrew
eNews - 15th November 2024