‘One size fits all’ or ‘Tailor made’ Love?
A few weeks ago, I read the whole letter of 1 Thessalonians in one sitting. It was an encouraging read of a healthy church. They love one another well. But Paul urges them ‘to do so more and more’. But how? Is love a ‘one size fits all’ kind of thing or does it look different in different relationships?
If you read the book yourself you might be struck, as I was, by the familial language throughout. This church sees each other as family, as brothers and sisters, as mothers and fathers, as children of God who are all in the process of growing up. It’s a challenging concept for us adults to remember, but one that will help us to love one another more appropriately.
Our family is entering a new stage; the infamous ‘teenage years’. It’s a time of rapid growth and development, a gateway to adulthood. But needless to say, it can be a wild ride at times! It’s a challenge to figure out how to love each of my children well, when it looks different to how I loved them as babies or as toddlers. And so it is within the family of God! All of us are at different stages of growing up and we must work hard to tailor our love to the needs of those in front of us.
Paul spends most of his letter reminding the Thessalonians of what they already know and urging them to keep doing what they’re doing. They are maturing steadily and he does not want their growth to stagnate. But at the end of his letter Paul draws our attention to some other categories of people that require a different response of love. He gives this instruction in 5:14, ‘And we urge you brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.’
This is a picture of ‘tailor made’ love; love that is appropriate and fitting to meet the needs of those in front of us. It is appropriate to love unruly children by warning them of the consequences of their behaviour and urging them to change. It is appropriate to come alongside the discouraged, to walk with them, offering hope and inviting small steps of growth. It is appropriate to protect and provide for the weak, whether it be for a season or indefinitely. Conversely, it would be inappropriate to warn the weak or to encourage the idle and disruptive or to leave the relatively mature to stagnate. Consider what damage can be done when we have a one size fits all approach to love. Perhaps that isn’t really love at all, for love works hard to consider the needs of those in front of us and tailor our response appropriately.
But let’s remember that we are all still children, in the process of growing up. Our Heavenly Father patiently loves his children through every spiritual life stage and so we too must ‘be patient with everyone’ as we love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Grace & peace,
Adele
eNews - 23rd February 2024