Christians aren’t called to be “nice” people.
Sounds controversial, but would you agree?
We can often reduce the fruit of the Spirit, or the marks of someone following Jesus, down to just being nice. You know, being polite, smiling, not disagreeing, not saying anything that might make someone uncomfortable.
But “nice” isn’t actually a biblical category. The word “nice” isn’t even in the Bible!
Now, there is a time and place for being gentle in tone and careful with words. But it’s important to realise that “nice” is not how the Bible describes the character of someone who follows Jesus.
Jesus wasn’t always nice. He overturned tables. He rebuked religious leaders. He confronted sin. He spoke hard truths that people didn’t always want to hear.
Paul wasn’t “nice” when he confronted Peter in Galatians 2.
Nathan wasn’t “nice” when he confronted David’s adultery (which we’ll see next week in 2 Samuel 12).
So if by nice we mean always agreeable, always comfortable, never disruptive, then the answer is: No. The followers of Jesus are not called to be nice.
But we are called to be kind.
Kindness is different. Kindness is strong and costly. Kindness tells the truth. Kindness cares enough to act, even when doing nothing would be easier.
Paul writes:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Kindness is not passive or avoidant.
Kindness moves towards others with patience, gentleness, forgiveness, and love.
And the source of that kindness is not our individual personality type but God himself.
God did not stay distant. He did not avoid the mess. He did not keep polite emotional distance. He moved towards us in Jesus.
And not because we were lovely, but because we were loved.
"But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:4-7)
God’s kindness is not niceness. It is a truthful, pursuing, forgiving, sacrificial love that restores and rebuilds.
So this week, let’s not settle for being “nice.”
Let’s ask God to grow in us kindness. The kind that speaks truth, forgives quickly, bears burdens, notices needs, and moves towards others like Jesus has moved towards us.
Grace & peace,
Andrew